October 14, 2003
First Up: The US government has released a list of the most dangerous jobs in America. Topping the list is Lumberjack, followed by Vegas Tiger Illusionist and New York Yankee.
Item 2:  Dateline - Audubon, Minnesota
A truck hauling a load of turkey manure overturned on Highway 10. IN a related story, Turkey Manure Days at Menard's have been cancelled.
Item 3:  Dateline: North Hollywood, California
A seventy year-old man pleaded guilty to impersonating a doctor. Authorities said that patients became suspicious because he actually spent time with them, listend to their problems, and tried to help them.
Item 4: 

I've Got Some Bad News And Some Good News:
The Bad News: Men who smoke marijuana affect their sperm and the speed at which their sperm travels. The Good News: I guess Clinton really didn't inhale!
Item 5: When Madonna was asked her opinion about the significant age difference between Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, she replied, "I've got used condoms on my nightstand older than him."
Item 6:

First Lady Laura Bush said that George W. writes her poems all the time. I actually have one right here:

Laura, Laura
Without you I can't function,
It's like being in Iraq,
Without weapons of Mass Destruction.

And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
Clem pulls over to the side of the road to show Jed where he had sex for the first time. "It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly," recalled Clem, a little misty-eyed. "It was warm, the middle of summer…we were so in love. We walked down to that tree and did it for hours." "That sounds great," said Jed. "Yes, it was okay until I looked up and saw her mother standing right above us, watching." "Oh my god!" exclaimed Jed, "What did her mother say?" "Baaaaa…"