October 21, 2003
First Up: Jerry Springer said he's thinking about running for Governor of Ohio. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked his opinion, he replied, "What a joke".
Item 2:  Researchers have found that singing Britney Spears songs can act as an appetite suppressant. It also found that movies starring Mariah Carey encourages bulimia.
Item 3:  Dateline: Milford, Connecticut
Police arrested a man who allegedly swallowed a bunch of diamonds and then fled a jewelry store. A spokesperson said that the cops believe that they got the right man, "But that he is innocent ' til pooing guilty."
Item 4:  Saturday, October 25th is "Make A Difference Day." To help celebrate, I plan to go on a blind date with someone who is hearing impaired!
Item 5: A Sad Note:
A woman in Australia who lost her husband in a car accident had him cremated and then injected his ashes into her breast implants. The sad part? He was an ass man.
Item 6: Dateline: London
Magician David Blaine left his cage after 44 days in confinement. He denies rumors that fasting for that long took a mental toll on him. He said, "I can't wait to get back to Las Vegas and work with Siegfried and the tigers!"
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
A middle-aged couple who had two beautiful teenage daughters decided that they wanted a son. So, they got busy, and wham, bam, thank you ma'am, they had a baby boy. The happy dad rushed to the nursery to see the son he always wanted. To his horror, it was the ugliest baby in the world. He couldn't believe he had fathered him after having two beautiful daughters. He confronted his wife and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" "Not this time," she answered.