November 11, 2003
First Up: P. Diddy completed the New York City Marathon in just over four hours on Sunday, but not without controversy. Apparently he's being held by police for firing back at the starter pistol guy.
Item 2:  A new Japanese study has found that laughing after a meal can lower your blood sugar. It also found that you are ten times more likely to lower your life span if you laugh at your wife's cooking.
Item 3:  Dateline - Greenville, South Carolina
An inmate accused of killing his ex-girlfriend's mother was left standing alone at the jail-house altar when his bride-to-be didn't show up for their wedding. He wasn't able to find out what happened to her because he used his one and only phone call to book the caterer.
Item 4:  Dateline - New Hampshire
he State Supreme Court has ruled that if a married woman has sex with another married woman it's not adultery. The five male judges said they would be more than happy to revisit their decision and look at new evidence, over and over and over.
Item 5: A Sad Note:
Singer Bobby Hatfield of The Righteous Brothers passed away at the age of 63. He was on the road in Kalamazoo, Michigan when he died. My heart goes out to his family, and I can empathize: I too have died in Kalamazoo, Battle Creek and Lansing.
Item 6: Dateline: Philadelphia
A crowd of angry Catholic school girls chased down a man who flashed them. First they tackled him, then they kicked him and punched him. The man was charged with "Fulfilling His Wildest Fantasy."
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
A dirty, shabby-looking homeless man stopped a man on the street and begged him for some money for food. The man pulled out ten dollars but asked, "How do I know you're not going to use this money to buy alcohol?" The homeless man said, "I stopped drinking years ago." "Then will you use this money to gamble?" asked the man. "No," promised the homeless guy, "I need everything I get to stay alive." The man said, "You're not going to use this for greens fees at the golf course, are you?" The homeless man said, "I haven't golfed in years." The man asked, "But, how do I know you won't get a hooker?" The homeless man said, "That the last thing I need, some disease for ten lousy bucks!" The man said, "I'm going to do something better than give you this money. I'm taking you home so my wife can cook you some dinner." The homeless man asked, "Won't your wife be furious with you, bringing home a dirty, stinky shabby looking guy like me?" The man replied, "That's o.k., I just want her to see what a man looks like after giving up beer, gambling, golf, and sex."