July 8, 2003

First Up:	According to a recent study, nearly half of all women who use condoms aren't getting the protection they need. The #1 problem? They don't have a penis.
Item 2:	Pamela Anderson is offering a wake-up service for $7.99 a month. For an extra 50 bucks, she'll go home with you.
Item 3:	Jenny Craig has offered American Idol winner Rueben Studdard one million dollars to lose 100 pounds. Rueben said, "I thought I did that when I beat that little runt Clay!"
Item 4:	A Sad Note: David S. Loeb, the co-founder of one of America's largest mortgage companies passed away at the age of 79. According to a family spokesperson, since he died on the 1st, they have until the 15th to bury him.
Item 5:	Fun Fact You Should Know: California spends $2,500 a day to pick up bottles of urine from motorists who have relieved themselves while stuck in traffic. In a related story, the state also spends $500 a day to clean the crap out of "Soon-to-find-out-if-he's-going-to-be-recalled" Governor Gray Davis' pants.
Item 6:	Dateline - Montreal, Canada: The Health Ministry has set up a safe injection site for drug users and for gay men who want to consummate their gay marriage.
And Finally:	The Bing Crosby Joke of the Week: Dateline - Spain: Animal rights activists in Pamplona stripped naked and ran through the streets to protest the Running of The Bulls. Organizers are already planning to do this next year with a thousand naked men and call it "The Running of The Balls."