| First Up:
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President Bush has declared that marriage is between a man and a woman. He
went on to say, "If you don't believe me, just ask 'Seigfried and Roy'." |
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Item 2: |
Dateline - Woodinville, Washington:
Neighbors are protesting a Buddhist Monastery's plan to build a 13,300 square
foot meditation center. According to a spokesperson for the monks, "We have
nothing to say." |
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Item 3: |
According to The Department of Education, 80 percent of US schools have
self-esteem classes, and I know why: We've become a society that has to check
the bottom of a soda cap to see if we are a winner. |
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Item 4: |
Jennifer Lopez said in an NBC Dateline special, "I'm not a diva and I don't know
where that rumor came from and if someone doesn't get me a room-temperature
Evian with a blue crazy-straw in it, I'm going to end the F*$#ing interview." |
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Item 5: |
Dateline - Iraq:
Several US soldiers went on national TV to bitch and complain about being
stationed there. In fact, it prompted Tom Brokaw to write a new book on the war
called, "The Whiniest Generation." |
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Item 6: |
Dateline - Ravenna, Ohio:
A woman received a citation for breast feeding her child while driving on the
Ohio Turnpike. The officer said he didn't believe her story since her child was
28 years old. |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of the Week:
My buddy Jerry Lee Lewis is suing for divorce from his sixth wife. But that
isn't his real problem. It's chronic jock itch, though it's helped him sing his
hit song, "Great Balls of Fire." |
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