The city's program of recycling dirty diapers will be discontinued. According to the program manager, "People will have to dispose of them the old-fashioned way: In the parking lots of Wal-Marts and Target stores.
Cowgirl Connie Reeves passed away at the age of 101. She died after being thrown from her horse. Eyewitnesses say that she was a true cowgirl to the end. Even after she died, she got back on her horse.
Comedian Gallagher, who's running for the highest office in California, has just clinched the watermelon pickers union vote. Also, Gary Coleman has come up with a new campaign slogan, "Elect Me Governor and I can Be My Own Security Guard."
The state's Attorney General is suing a travel agency that was acutally a front for men seeking sex from Asian prostitutes. He said he became suspicious when men called and asked for "The John Bizarre Special."
Three nuns die, go to heaven, and are met by St. Peter. The Keeper of The Pearly gates says, "Sisters, you all lead such wonderful lives, I'm granting you six months back on Earth to be anyone you want to be." The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren" and poof! she was gone. The second nun says, "I want to be Madonna" and poof! she was gone. The third nun says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini." St. Peter, visibly confused says, "I'm sorry, but that name doesn't ring a bell." The nun takes a newspaper clipping from her pocket and hands it to St. Peter. He reads it and starts laughing, "No sister, the paper says it was the Sahara Pipeline that was laid by 1400 men in six months."
