September 23, 2003

First Up: Dateline - Northern California:
A high school student wants to start a club on her campus called "The Caucasion Club". School officials have turned down the request explaining, "We already have one of those. It's called "The Chess Club".
Item 2:  Finnish researchers say that they have discovered the gene that causes dyslexia. According to one researcher, "Glad we are boy, we dyslexia found the gene!"
Item 3:  The FBI says that the pizza delivery guy who died after a bomb around his neck went off may have ben a part of a new pizza promotion, "Pizza in 30 minutes or less, or the driver gets it!"
Item 4:  A new study has found that 11 million Americans have driven while under the influence of illegal drugs. The study is shocking because before this, the government didn't know there were so many pilots and bus drivers.
Item 5: Senator Kennedy said the case for war was a fraud, "made up in Texas." He went on to say, "I'm only a couple of pounds overweight, I'm actually a tee-totaler, and, people often ask me to be the Designated Driver."
Item 6: Last Thursday, was "National Talk Like A Pirate Day". The most popular phrases overheard that day included: "Ahoy, there!" "Arrrrgggghh, Matey" and, "I think my parrot just pooped on my shoulder."
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
A man and a woman are having an argument over who should brew the morning coffee. The wife says, "You should, since you get up in the morning first." the husband disagrees, explaining, "You should, since you're in charge of the cooking." The wife insists, "No you should do it. In fact it says so int he bible." The man says, "I can't believe that, show me." So the woman opens up the New Testament and shows him the top of several pages which say, "Hebrews".