An American was arrested going through customs for allegedly flipping off a camera when they were taking his photo. He was charged with making an obscene gesture and behaving like a Super Bowl half-time act.
Jessica Simpson said that staying a virgin until her wedding night was "magical." Coincidentally, her husband said he felt like David Copperfield when he said, "Watch my penis disappear."
Dateline - Texas:
The Department of Corrections said it will no longer post the "last meal"
requests of death row inmates on their website. A department spokesperson said
it was, "tasteless and demeaning." Ironically, so is prison food.
The State House of Representatives passed a bill making it a crime to wear aluminum underwear. In a related story, recycling centers will no longer accept returns with skid marks.
A man escapes from prison after being locked up for fifteen years. He breaks into a house looking for guns and money, but all he finds is a young couple in bed. He ties the man to a chair and then, after tying up his young wife, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck and then stops and goes to the bathroom. While he's in there, the man tells his wife, "Listen, this guy looks dangerous. I saw him kiss you on the neck, do what he wants, don't complain, don't resist, just give him satisfaction. Then maybe he won't kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which the wife replies, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, he thought you were cute and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too."
