Sate health officials warn that Winter Vomiting Disease in on the rise with symptoms lasting two or three days, or about as long as a John Kerry stump speech.
Dateline: Bend, Oregon
Residents have asked the city to reject any new so-called "Big Box" stores in
their neighborhood. Included on the list of forbidden Big Box stores are
Wal-Mart, Home Depot and Just Panties For Plus-Size Women.
A Sad Note
Jan Miner, the actress who played Madge the Manicurist in the Palmolive
commercials passed away at t the age of 86. Per her wishes, she'll be buried at
sea, so her family can finally say, "She's soaking in it."
A married couple ducked behind a refrigerator when bullets began to explode in their oven. The husband told police, "I'm not over-reacting when I say my wife's cooking is going to kill me."
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The birch says to the beech, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he can't tell. Just then, a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you're a tree expert, can you tell if that's a son of a birch or a son of a beech?" The woodpecker takes a peck at the small tree and replies, "It's neither a son of a beech or a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I ever put my pecker in."
