March 16, 2004
First Up: Dateline: Clare, Iowa
More than 80,000 chickens died in a fire at Sparboe Farms. Eyewitnesses said they would have lived if only they had listened to the sole-survivor, "Chicken Little."
Item 2:  The FDA is about to approve a new pill that will help people lose weight and quit smoking at the same time. I thought they already had that ... it's called cyanide.
Item 3: 

Wal-Mart has become the first company to hit a quarter trillion dollars in sales. Though analysts admit that they might have to revise that number since the company no longer accepts million dollar bills. In A Related Story: The Georgia woman who tried to pass the million dollar bill was arrested, but wasn't locked up because luckily, she had a "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
Item 4: 

Fun Fact You Should Know:
There are 19,000 different ways you can order a cup of coffee from Starbucks. Coincidentally, that is the same number of times you need to describe your order before the barrista! gets it right.
Item 5: Dateline: Dickerson, North Dakota
The city is turning a former Catholic boarding house into a state prison. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
A teacher asked her class what each student wanted out of life. A girl in the back of the room raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life are four animals: A mink on my back, a Jaguar in my garage, a tiger in my bed and a jackass to pay for it all."