March 23, 2004

First Up: A new study says found that the older men get, the more damaged their sperm becomes. Especially if they store it in a sock!
Item 2:  Dateline - Las Vegas, Nevada:
Police arrested a man accused of being the Columbus Ohio Sniper. I guess what happens in Ohio, doesn’t stay in Ohio!
Item 3: 

Donald Trump wants to trademark the term, "You’re Fired." If successful, he also plans trademark "Big Pompous Ass," "Screw The Little Guy!" and, "Bad Comb-Over."

Item 4: 

A Sad Note
Two employees at a Wendy’s were caught bathing in a restaurant sink. The sad part? They still didn’t wash their hands!

Item 5: Question of The Week
If my dog is diagnosed with cataracts, do I call him Blind-Spot?
Item 6:

I’ve Got Some Good News and Some Bad News
The Good News: A 61 year-old bank teller stopped a would-be bank robber by faking a heart attack.
The Bad News: She was trying to fake an orgasm.

And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after Sunday morning service in tears. "What’s bothering you, my dear Mary?" asks the priest. "Oh, Father," answered Mary, "My husband passed away last night." "Oh, that’s terrible news." replied Father O’Grady, "Tell me, Mary, did Mr. Clancy have a last request?" "Yes Father, he did," answered Mary. "And what was it?" inquired the priest. "He said, ’Mary, please! Put the gun down!’"