April 26, 2004
First Up: A chef killed his best friend and cooked his body parts. This low-carb craze is really getting out of hand.
Item 2:  Japanese scientists have created mice with two mothers and no father. The mice plan to move to San Francisco and marry.
Item 3: 

Dateline--Grand Saline, Texas
A female calf was born with three eyes and two mouths. The owner said that despite her physical challenges, she’s doing great, and can actually moo out of both mouths. In honor of that, they’ve named the little cow Senator John Kerry.

Item 4: 

A Sad Note: Dateline --Salt Lake City, Utah
A couple was kicked out of a "Chuck-a-Rama Buffet" restaurant for eating too much. The Sad Part? They actually ate at a place called, "Chuck-a-Rama." I guess "Throw-Up A Lot" was already taken.

Item 5: Fun Fact You Should Know:
According to the National Retailers Association, the top two most shop-lifted items are CDs and panties. That gives a whole new meaning to the term box set!
Item 6:

A satellite conceived during the Eisenhower administration was finally launched into outer space last Tuesday. It will try to prove some of Einstein's theories. It has already proved one: Give The Government 45 Years And They’ll Get The Job Done.

And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
Two nuns were riding their bikes down the back streets of an old Italian village. The first nun says, "I’ve never come this way before." The second nun replies "It’s the cobblestones."