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Rosie O’Donnell will star in the new CBS TV movie, "Riding The Bus With My
Sister." Rosie will play the bus. |
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Item 2: |
German super-model Heidi Klum gave birth to an eight pound baby girl. Mother and
daughter are doing fine, and only 26 pounds apart. |
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Item 3: |
Dixie Chick Martie Maguire gave birth to twins on April 26th. She decided on a
C-Section, because she didn’t want to be accused of tearing into another Bush. |
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Item 4: |
A Sad Note: Dateline -- Juneau, Alaska
A fisherman was killed after thirty thousand pounds of fish fell on him. The Sad
Part? He had just won an argument with a co-worker about fish being good for
you. |
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Item 5: |
Starting May 17th, porn spammers will have to label their e-mail, "Sexually
Explicit." So next time you get an e-mail titled, "I Want Your Big Fat Fingers
In My Hot Honey Hole," it probably really is someone looking for a beekeeper. |
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Item 6: |
Los Angeles Laker Kobe Bryant says that after this season, he’ll test the
free-agent market. I hear there’s a lot of interest from both The Leavenworth
Pinstripes and The San Quentin Queens. |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
Two campers are walking through the woods when they spot a huge brown bear. The
bear spots them, and starts heading their way. The first guy immediately drops
to the ground and puts on a pair of running shoes. The second guys says, "
Sneakers aren’t gonna help you outrun that bear!" To which the first guy
replied, "I don’t need to outrun the bear, I need to outrun you!" |
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