May 18, 2004
First Up: Dateline -- Santa Barbara, California:
A woman saved a choking gas station attendant’s life. She used the Heimlich Maneuver to dislodge a wad of cash he had just received for a tank of gas.
Item 2:  Dateline -- Portland, Oregon:
A cab driver took a fare from Portland to Milwaukee, Wisconsin in exchange for three thousand dollars. In a related story, Paramount Pictures bought the rights to the tale, and will soon begin filming "Driving Miss Dumb-Ass."
Item 3:  Record producer Phil Spector and his chauffer were arrested after the two got into a fistfight. Police were able to stop the fight when they told the Motown King to "Stop In The Name of Love."
Item 4:  Question of The Week: When counseling a homeless man, do you tell him to think outside the cardboard box?
Item 5: A Sad Note:
An Alaskan man was found guilty of killing his mom and entombing her in the breakfast nook in her trailer. He then rented the trailer to a friend who discovered the body a month later. The Sad Part The tenant was depressed because all that time he thought he was eating alone.
Item 6: Dateline -- Havana, Cuba:
The Cuban Government shut down the country’s Dollar Only stores, blaming the United States government for economic sanctions. They did, however, keep the "Everything’s A Peso" and the "99 Centavos Only" stores open for business.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
Three old ladies named Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench talking about the day’s events. Suddenly, a flasher approached them, opened his trench coat and exposed himself. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude had a stroke. And Tilly, being the oldest and most feeble, couldn’t reach that far.