May 25, 2004
First Up: Dateline -- Crawford, Texas:
President Bush fell off his bicycle while riding around on his ranch. No truth to the rumor that the accident occurred because he couldn’t see past Dick Cheney who was sitting on the handle bars singing, "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head."
Item 2:  An Atlanta company will sell a dental device that forces the wearer to take smaller bites. And as a special bonus for the ladies, it will make your husband feel a whole lot bigger.
Item 3:  Dateline -- Portland, Oregon:
Doctors successfully transplanted a kidney from a 76 year-old woman to her 56 year-old son. Hospital officials said that the man is doing fine and, in fact feels twenty years older.
Item 4:  Question of The Week:
When people with amnesia reminisce, do they start out by saying, "As far back as I can remember?"
Item 5: Dateline -- Ross, Pennsylvania:
Nine students were suspended after a food fight broke out in a cafeteria. Nobody was hurt since most of the teenagers involved were overweight and just stood there with their mouths open.
Item 6: Soon To Be Out On DVD Ashley Judd stars in "Twisted." She plays a cop who might be a serial killer but doesn’t know it. In one scene she asks her therapist, "Is it possible to do bad things behind my own back?" The same question Seigfried used to ask Roy.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten in the ass by a rattlesnake. The other camper goes to town looking for help. He finds a doctor who is busy delivering a baby and can‘t hike into the woods to help. Instead, he offers these instructions: Take a knife and cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and then spit it out. The guy runs back to his friend who asks anxiously, "What did the doctor say?" "He said you’re going to die."