June 1, 2004
First Up: Dateline -- Arkansas:
A 38 year-old woman gave birth to her fifteenth child. The amazing part? Not one of them was fathered by Bill Clinton.
Item 2:  Dateline -- London:
A baby was born after being conceived with 21 year-old sperm. The baby is doing fine, except that he still thinks Reagan is president and Michael Jackson is black.
Item 3:  During an outdoor concert in New York City, a bird pooped in Cyndi Lauper’s mouth. Coincidentally, people who attended the concert also left with a bad taste in their mouth.
Item 4:  Dateline -- Louisiana:
The State Supreme Court removed a district judge for being drunk on the bench. Officials became suspicious when every time he hit his gavel and said, "Order in the court!" a waitress would bring him a double vodka tonic.
Item 5: A new study has found that Texas fourth graders are the heaviest in the nation. This could be due to the fact that many of the kids still have a sibling on their back from when they crossed the Rio Grande.
Item 6: The International Olympic Committee has announced that transsexuals may compete in the next Olympic games. Haven’t the East Germans been doing this for years?
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week:
Muldoon, the farmer, lived deep in the country for many years with only his loyal dog for company. Eventually, his dog passed away. The distraught farmer went to his priest and said, "Father my dog passed away and I was hoping you could say a mass him, as he was my best and only friend." The priest said, "I’m sorry about your pet, but we can’t hold a service for an animal in the church. However, there’s a new church down the road, maybe they can help you" "Thank you, Father, " said the farmer, "Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?" The Father quickly responded, "Son, why didn’t you tell me the dog was Catholic?"