January 3, 2006
First Up: Dateline-England
Queen Elizabeth bestowed the honor of Knighthood on singer Tom Jones.  Right after the ceremony, she threw her royal panties at him.
Item 2:  Actor Brad Renfro was arrested on Skid Row in Los Angeles after trying to buy heroin.  His publicist denies any wrong doing, explaining that her client was simply doing research for his next role, the lead in "The Robert Downey, Jr. Story."
Item 3:  Dateline--Los Angeles
Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa has made good on his promise to fill more than 80,000 potholes on Southland streets. In fact, the only pothole he wasn't able to fill was Woody Harrelson's mouth!
Item 4:  A Sad Note
Joseph L. Owades, the man who created the first light beer, passed away at age 86.  Per his request, his coffin will be buried with 40 percent less dirt than a regular coffin.
Item 5: Exorcist star Linda Blair says, "You wouldn't believe the number of fans who come up to me and ask me to make my head spin and throw up on cue."  I hear Lara Flynn Boyle gets the same request.
Item 6: Dateline-Iraq
According to witnesses, Saddam Hussein used the phrase, "Let the monkeys laugh.  The lion doesn't care about the monkeys in the laughing," repeatedly during his trial.  In an attempt to explain the meaning of the chant, Hussein's attorney said that his client was looking forward to being greeted by 72 virgin zookeepers in heaven after his execution.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A little girl asks her grandpa if she can sit on his lap.  "Of course," replies her grandpa.  After climbing onto his lap, she asks him, "Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?"  "Well of course I can, sweetheart," and he gives her his very best frog sound.  His granddaughter is obviously delighted and can't stop grinning and squirming in his lap.  Curious, her grandpa asks, "Sweetheart, why did you want me to make a sound like a frog?"  "Well," replied the gleeful little girl, "because Mommy and Daddy said that when you croak, we're all going to Disney World!"