November 14, 2006
First Up: A major beer company plans to introduce chocolate beer.  When asked why, a spokesperson explained, “Because it’s hard for kids to pronounce “chocolate liqueur.” 
Item 2:  Thirty eight per cent of Americans think that their housekeeping would impress Martha Stewart.  The other 62 per cent really don’t care what a convicted felon thinks of them.
Item 3: 

A talk show host went undercover as a man with a beard.  The episode was called, “ Mr. Liza Minelli.” The host said she did learn a lot about being a guy, like leaving the toilet seat up and being irritated by women who yak too much.  She said the best part of the experiment was that she couldn’t stop hitting on herself.
Item 4: 

A Sad Note. 
n the upcoming Courtney Love book, “Dirty Blonde,” the singer includes her rejection letter from The Mickey Mouse Club.  The sad part? The show was cancelled in 1961, and she was born in 1968.
Item 5: Question of The Week
If a stripper has company, does she offer them two cups of T and some A?
Item 6:

A study using mirrors shows that elephants have a high sense of self-awareness.  This trait has also been documented in monkeys, dolphins and the post-divorce version of Britney Spears.  The most overheard comments from a self-aware elephant include: 
“I think I need a trunk job.”
“I guess I am a Republican.”
“Wow.  This really does make my ass look fat!”
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and three other Men of The Cloth swapped their cleric garb for polos and khakis and hit the golf course.  After several really horrible shots, their caddy asked, “Are you guys priests by any chance?”  “Actually, yes.” one of them answered, and then asked, “How did you know?”  “Easy,” said the caddy, “I’ve never seen such bad golf and such clean language.”