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Vice President Dick Cheney was rushed to the hospital after experiencing
shortness of breath. Fortunately for us, he's ok. Remember, if anything
happens to him, George Bush becomes president. |
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Item 2: |
And speaking of President Bush, historians say that he is at the critical
mid-term mark of his presidency. Throughout history, this period of a
presidency has always been referred to as the "six-year itch." The only
exception was the Clinton administration. They used the phrase mostly to
explain an intern's sick leave. |
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Item 3: |
Thanks to the success of Brokeback Mountain, there is talk of a female version.
This one will star Rosie O'Donnell and be called The Big Valley. |
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Item 4: |
Dateline--Birmingham, Alabama
Police are looking for the person who stole a brass beaver statue from the front
of a local preserve. Cops have nicknamed the thief "The Redundant Bandit" since
he snatched a beaver. |
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Item 5: |
Dateline-France
Doctors were able to separate twins who were joined at the spine. The operation
is a medical first for France since most citizens have no spine in the first
place. |
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Item 6: |
Hotels are now offering customers wake-up calls specially designed to rouse
guests more effectively. I've used this service and it really does work. I
picked up the phone and heard a recording of Nathan Lane saying, "You were
fantastic last night!" |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A man was slipping in and out of a coma for several months. His wife stayed by
his bedside the whole time. One day he during a moment of consciousness, he
said to her, "You've been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired,
you were there. When my business went under, you were there. Even when I got
shot, you were by my side. When I lost the house on a bet, you stuck with me.
"Yes," replied his wife, "you're right about that." "You know what I think?"
asked the husband. "What?" she answered, gazing into her husband's eyes. "I
think you're bad luck!" |
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