April 4, 2006
First Up:

A new study has found that women with high estrogen levels have a high risk of stroke.  The study also suggests that women with lower levels of estrogen want to work on your car engine and watch the game with you.
Item 2:  Sharon Stone told Newsweek that, “The kind of guy I’m looking for would want to wear Sponge Bob Square Pants pjs and sit in the front row of a school play.  I have the perfect guy for her: too bad Michael Jackson likes little boys!
Item 3: 

Hooters Airlines is going out of business, and will close its cabin doors after just three years.  .  According to a spokesperson, nervous flyers never got used to the “We Got Hot Wings" pre-flight announcement.  Coincidentally, they plan to sell all of their assets to Air Lingus.
Item 4: 

I’ve Got Some Good News And Some Bad News
The Good News Tom Cruise has announced that he will marry Katie Holmes as soon as she gives birth to their child.  The Bad News He made the announcement while jumping up and down on her stomach.
Item 5: Former “Friends” actor Matt LeBlanc has filed for divorce from his wife after three years of marriage.  The television star said that this is his second separation in a year.  The first occurred when NBC asked him not to come back to the set of “Joey.”
Item 6: Dateline--Washington, DC
The US Capitol building was evacuated after a massive power outage.  According to Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney, the problem was caused by racist electricians. 
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A girl was visiting her blonde friend and her two new dogs.  The blonde introduced the pups to her pal as “Rolex” and “Timex.”  Puzzled, the friend asked, “How did you come up wit those names?” “Hell-oooooooo” answered the blonde, “They’re watch dogs.”