May 16, 2006
First Up: Archeologists have uncovered a road that is 2000 years old.  They were able to determine the age of the road based on the type of stone that was used to build it.  Oh, and they also found a “This portion of the highway was adopted by Larry King” sign.
Item 2:  Dateline--Oakland,California: 
A carpenter was arrested after the person who hired him came home early and found the guy building bookcases in the nude.  Yikes.  And I’ve always been worried about hitting my thumb with a hammer.
Item 3: 

Fun Fact You Should Know At birth, the human body is 78 percent liquid.  And 98 proof if you’re a Kennedy.
Item 4: 

Deaf actress Marlee Matlin will join the cast of Showtime’s lesbian drama, “The L Word.”  Producers said she got the part because she’s really good at reading lips. 

Item 5: Dateline--Clovis, California:
City planners have built a sewage treatment plant that is disguised as a farmhouse.  Originally, they were going to disguise it as City Hall, because everyone knows it’s full of crap!  Boy, I’d hate to be the traveling salesman who shows up at that farm.
Item 6: Airbus has been pitching the idea of a standing room only flight to Asia.  Passengers would be propped up against a padded backboard and held in place with a harness.  The good news is, if you have enough Frequent Flyer Miles, you can upgrade to a squat.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A blonde shopping at a department store picked up a thermos and asked the clerk, “What is this?”
“A thermos,” answered the clerk, “it keeps some things hot, and some things cold.” 
“Wow, that’s amazing!” exclaimed the blonde, “I’m going to buy it.” 
The next day, she brought it to work to show if off to her colleagues.  “Look everybody!  I got a Thermos!” said the excited blonde, “it keeps some things hot, and some and some things cold.”  
“What do you have in it?” asked a co-worker. 
“Two Popsicles and some coffee!”