| First Up:
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After a 15 year run, Katie Couric
bid a tearful goodbye to NBC’s The Today Show. I hear it was so tear-filled
that Al Roker had to have his eyelids stapled shut. |
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Item 2: |
Today is 6-6-06, which many believe to be the sign of the devil. According to
my sources, a lot of people are afraid bad things will happen to them at work so
they call in Sick, Sick, Sick. |
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Item 3: |
Dateline--Dallas, Texas
Two women were arrested for kidnapping a child. The child’s distraught mom said
that the two suspects approached her earlier in the day and offered to buy her
baby in front of a “99 Cents Only” store. I hear you can get more for a kid in
front of an “Everything’s A Dollar” store. |
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Item 4: |
Fun Fact You Should Know: Only 25 percent of American students can find Israel
on a map. In a related story, 100 percent of Arab students couldn’t find Israel
on a map. |
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Item 5: |
Monaco’s Prince Albert II admitted he fathered yet another child out of
wedlock. The mother of the fourteen year-old girl wishes to remain out of the
spotlight and requests that people please stop calling her and asking if she has
Prince Albert in the can. |
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Item 6: |
Novelist John Updike has released a new book about the life of a terrorist.
When asked if he read the latest Updike novel, President Bush said, “I still
haven’t finished the Mary Cheney book. |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier came
up to him and said, “Hey, your barracks is open.” He stared at her a moment,
trying to decode her message, and, puzzled, went about his business. When he
finished shopping, a man came up to him and said, “Your fly is open.”
Horrified, he quickly zipped up and realized what the lady cashier was trying to
tell him. He went up to her and asked, “When you saw my barracks open, did you
see a soldier standing in there at attention?” “No,” she answered, “but I did
see a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags.” |
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