Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said, “I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.” “Thank God,” said an elderly nun, “I’m so tired of Chardonnay.”
| First Up: | First Up: Dateline--Washington, DC A new city program will provide free voice mail service to homeless people. The program is a result of numerous complaints filed by homeless people who were missing way too many calls from mortgage brokers offering to re-fi their cardboard boxes. |
|
| Item 2: | When former Vice President Al Gore was asked if he plans to run for president in 2008, he replied, “Been there, done that!” I hear he said the same thing to Tipper on their honeymoon night.” |
|
| Item 3: | Vice President Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter Mary is promoting her new book, “Now It’s My Turn.” When asked which parent she favored, Mary told Time magazine, “I’m probably more like my dad.” |
|
| Item 4: | Fun Fact You Should Know It cost the US Mint 1.23 cents to make a penny. The reason? The price of metal, manufacturing and transportation costs, and oh yeah, Lincoln’s makeover. |
|
| Item 5: | Dateline: Pierre, South Dakota The public will vote on two new laws in November. One will allow marijuana use for medical purposes, and the other will limit the use of state-owned airplanes. One confused voter asked, “Do they want me to get high or don’t they?” |
|
| And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said, “I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.” “Thank God,” said an elderly nun, “I’m so tired of Chardonnay.” |
|
|
|