| First Up:
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The Bush Administration wants to
cut methamphetamine use by 15 percent over the next three years. And that’s
just in the West Wing. |
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Item 2: |
A pivotal scene in the movie “The Breakup,” shows Jennifer Aniston’s character
getting an ultra-bikini wax in an effort to seduce Vince Vaughn’s character.
The procedure is referred to as “The Telly Savalas.” I was surprised they
didn’t go with a more contemporary hairless reference like “The Howie Mandel” or
“The Dakota Fanning.” |
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Item 3: |
Dateline--Washington, DC
President Bush kept his Iraqi visit top secret by telling his dinner guests that
he was excusing himself to “go read.” And technically, he did. During the
12-hour flight he finally got a chance to finish “My Pet Goat.” |
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Item 4: |
Fun Fact You Should Know
A new study has found that 65 percent of American men would rather be married
than single. The other 35 percent said that all the sex in the world wouldn’t
get them to go to Bed, Bath and Beyond on a Saturday afternoon. |
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Item 5: |
A spokesperson for The Dixie Chicks said that not all of the group’s US tour
dates are a wash, and that some venues are selling out. Cities with high ticket
demand include Diablo, Texas, Hell, Michigan, and Bitchville, Ohio. |
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Item 6: |
The latest craze in network television advertising is to get major companies to
sponsor programs, as we saw with “Ford Presents American Idol.” Some of the
corporate/programming pairings that were not so successful include “Enron
Presents Law and Order,” “Without a Trace Brought To You By Etch-a-Sketch,” and
“Smallville, sponsored by Viagra.” |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
An 83 year-old woman goes for her annual physical. The doctor tells her
that she’s in great shape for her age but asks, “Do you still have
intercourse?” “Just a minute,” she answers, “I’ll have to ask my husband.” The
woman goes to the waiting room and shouts to her husband, “Do we still have
intercourse?” “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times,” answers
her exasperated husband, “We have Blue Cross!” |
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