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In Music News Aerosmith and Motley Crue plan to
tour together this fall. Promoters are expecting huge crowds for the shows,
tentatively billed as, “Bands That Slept With Your Mom.” |
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Item 2: |
Corey Feldman and Corey Haim are reuniting for the
first time since the 80’s for a television sitcom debuting this fall. Producers
are also talking with Emanuel Lewis, hoping he’ll join the cast. The show is
tentatively titled, “Two And A Half Has-Beens.” |
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Item 3: |
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban tied the knot over the weekend in Australia.
The wedding was top secret, attended by the cream of Australian celebrities,
including, Steve Irwin, Paul Hogan, Yahoo Serious, the recovering drug addict
guy from “Lost,” and, oh that’s it. |
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Item 4: |
A Sad Note Dateline--Sydney, Australia
The world’s oldest living creature, Harriet The Giant Tortoise, passed away at
the age of 176. The Sad Part? She had just bought her dress for the
Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban wedding. |
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Item 5: |
Dateline--Hayward, California
A pilot missed the runway due to engine trouble and had to land on the 18th hole
at a local golf course. Witnesses say the pilot walked away unharmed and
actually had more control than Phil Mikelson. |
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Item 6: |
Law enforcement officials have introduced a new non-lethal weapon to fight
crime. It’s called the goo shooter. Some officers find the name
misleading, and are pushing to call it, “The Happy Ending.” |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
An elderly Texas cowhand went to the local drug store to get some Viagra.
The pharmacist asks, “How much?” The cowboy answers, “Just a few. I
plan to cut each of them into four pieces.” “That’s too small a
dose,” warns the pharmacist, “That will never get you through sex.” “Sex?”
replies the old cowboy, “Oh no, I just want it to stick out. I keep peeing
on my new boots!” |
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