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Former ‘N Sync band member Lance
Bass is gay. To celebrate his official coming out, Bass is hoping to form a
new group featuring Elton John, George Michael and Boy George called, “The
Back Door Boys.” |
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Item 2: |
Opera Super Star, Luciano Pavarotti said that despite his cancer surgery, he
plans to finish his tour. The 300-pound tenor declared, “It ain’t over until I
put on a wig, a dress and sing.” |
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Item 3: |
Responding to President Bush’s idiotic veto of stem cell research funding, White
House Press Secretary Tony Snow explained, “People like leadership much better
than a finger in the wind.” I agree. Especially if you have to pull that
finger to create the wind. |
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Item 4: |
Question of The Week: Does a pessimistic coffee drinker see the mug as half and
half full?” |
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Item 5: |
North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Il married his former secretary. I hear the 64
year-old was so excited on his honeymoon night that two of his missiles shot off
early. And judging by the wedding photos, both of them fell into the Dead Sea. |
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Item 6: |
A new British version of Monopoly has been introduced in England. It replaces
Boardwalk with Buckingham Palace, and adds a Chance card that rewards one lucky
player with a reality TV show. A new pitfall replaces the “Pay Hospital $15”
Community Chest card with a “Visit The Dentist, Pay Four Million Pounds” card. |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A man and his wife are working in the garden.
The man looks over at his wife’s butt and says, “Your butt is getting really
big. I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the BBQ.” Determined to
prove his point, the man grabs a tape measure, and sure enough, his wife’s butt
is two inches bigger than the BBQ. That night in bed, the man gets a little
frisky. He makes his move, and she pushes him away. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little
weenie?” |
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