| First Up: | Pamela Anderson said that she always knew she would marry Kid Rock someday, even after their very public break-up in 2002. She said that she kept the engagement ring he gave her, and he kept the Hepatitis C she gave him. |
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| Item 2: | Since making anti-Semitic remarks, Mel Gibson says he wants to speak to Jews on Yom Kippur and ask for forgiveness. Other events planned for his atonement include starring in an off-Broadway production of Yentl, eating lox and bagels instead of using them as a door stop, changing the name of his favorite drinking game from “Quarters” to “Sheckles,” and singing a duet with Adam Sandler in The Hanukkah Song III. |
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| Item 3: | The Question of The Week Why don’t boxes of condoms come in Non-Family size? |
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| Item 4: | Tour de France winner Floyd Landis has tested positive for high levels of testosterone for the second time. In a related story, American Idol host Ryan Seacrest will compete in the Tour de France since he has never, ever tested positive for any level of testosterone. |
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| Item 5: | According to an on-line relationship article, a tell-tale sign that your husband is cheating on you is the frequent claim that he is “staying late at the office.” Other signs include calling him and getting the excuse, “I can’t talk right now, I’m in the middle of somebody.” He suggests a threesome…without you, and he refers to “Take Your Daughter To Work Day,” as your way of spying on him. |
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| And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge flower-covered heart was displayed behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened up and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes turned to him, he explained, “I’m sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral: ”I’m a gynecologist.” The proctologist fainted. |
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