Ellen DeGeneres suffered mild injuries after being rear-ended by a car driven by two adult males. The men also received a few scrapes. This is the only time Ellen has been accused of leaving scratch marks on a man’s back.
Voters have approved a new ordinance that will require cruise ship passengers to pay $50 apiece to visit the state. No truth to the rumor it will cost $500 per person to leave.
One of the nation’s largest gay and lesbian pride parades was held over the weekend. Ironically, hundreds of people cheered as floats worked their way down Streets K and Y.
Ma was in the kitchen and hollers to Pa, “You need to fix the outhouse.” Pa says, “There ain’t nothing wrong with the outhouse.” Ma yells back, “Yes there is, now git out there and fix it.” So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells, “There ain’t nothing wrong with it.” “Stick your head in the hole and see what to fix,” instructs Ma. He looks around and says, “There’s nothing wrong with the outhouse.” She yells, “Now take your head out of the hole.” Pa does just that, and soon, Ma hears his wail, “Ma, I need help! My beard is stuck in the toilet seat.” “Hurts, don’t it?” answers Ma.
