February 22, 2007
First Up: I saw Children of Men.  Not the Oscar nominated film; I'm talking about Anna Nicole Smith's baby.  The results of little Dannielynn's DNA test revealed six possible fathers.  The list includes three Duke Lacrosse players, two janitors from Anna Nicole's home state of Texas and a Hooters waitress.

This Just Handed To Me…Anna Nicole's body is now dating James Brown's body.
Item 2:  George Bush had two moles removed from his head.  This is the second time the president has had moles removed during his reign.  The first of course, was the day Scooter Libby resigned.
Item 3:  Dateline--New Jersey
A doctor pleaded guilty to stealing a hand from the cadaver of a stripper. Here's the weird part:  It didn't have a dollar in it.
Item 4:  Britney Spears shaved her head during her latest night on the town.  To make matters worse, after the shearing, she tore up a picture of The Pope.
Item 5: A new study has found that women don't like guys with loud voices.  Actress Marlin Matlin said, "I hear that!"
Item 6: According to Women's Health magazine, if you want to attract a man, smell like food.  The article claims that food odors increase male arousal.  I agree.  I am a sucker for a woman who smells like Mom's Apple Pie and Cafeteria Lady Fish Sticks.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A man wanted to have sex with a really cute girl in his office.  So one day he said to her, "I'll give you $100 if you have sex with me."  "Uh, no thanks," replied the girl.  "Come on," he pleaded, "I'll be real fast.  I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend over, and I'll be done before you can pick it up."  The girl considered this, and decided to ask her boyfriend his opinion. "Tell him you'll do it for $200, then pick the money up really fast," advised the boyfriend,  "Trust me, he won't even have time to take off his pants."  So she accepted the proposal, promising to call her boyfriend as soon as she had the fast cash in her hand.  Half an hour goes by and he still hasn't heard from her.  After 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks her what's taking so long. "The bastard had all quarters."