March 20, 2007
First Up: A recent study found that Ireland has the highest rate of binge drinkers per capita.  The study went on to say, "Duh."
Item 2:  Michael Jackson has just announced that he will host a new game show for Fox TV called, "Are You Hotter Than a Fifth Grader?"
Item 3:  Dateline--Honolulu, Hawaii
The city has enacted a temporary law that will allow people to hunt wild pigs for one year.  Boy, The Dixie Chick Tour just can't catch a break.
Item 4:  According to researchers, obese men are less likely to commit suicide because their high insulin levels help to regulate their moods.  And oh yeah, the rope breaks when they try to hang themselves.
Item 5: Dateline-Vietnam
Angelina Jolie has adopted her umpteenth child from another country.  She said that she was able to do it because she traded two of her Algerians kids and one from Guatemala.
Item 6: Dateline-India
A distraught woman whose fiancé was killed in a tragic accident insisted on marrying his corpse just minutes before he was cremated.  Anna Nicole's lawyer Howard K. Stern reportedly commented, "Why didn't I think of that?!"
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, and finds out she's pregnant.  She's furious.  She can't believe that Bill let this happen in the middle of her presidential campaign. She calls home and the minute her husband picks up she starts screaming, "How could you do this to me?!? With all that's going on right now, you get me pregnant?  What were you thinking?" There is dead silence on the other end of the line.  She screams again, "Did you hear me?  How could you be so reckless?  So careless?"  Finally, in a very faint whisper, Bill responds, "Who is this?"