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ABC Nightly News anchor Charles Gibson said that he wants former morning
show rival Katie Couric to succeed as anchor of the CBS Evening News. He
went on to say, “Yeah, right.” |
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Item 2: |
President Bush hosted a State Dinner to celebrate Queen Elizabeth’s visit to The
White House. The President said that in an effort to impress his honored guest
he learned a few phrases in English. |
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Item 3: |
I’ve Got Some Bad News and Some Good News
The Bad News President Bush’s approval rating fell to 28 percent.
The Good News That’s still above a tax audit and cat vomit. |
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Item 4: |
Question of The Week
If you sell yourself for sex on Craigslist, is it called, “Post-a-tu-tion?” |
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Item 5: |
J-Lo says if she doesn’t get eight hours of sleep, “I lose my mind.” Just
think, if she got eight hours of exercise, she could lose her fat ass, too! |
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Item 6: |
Paris Hilton fired her publicist because of her jail sentence. She said he told
her that she could drive as long as it was work related. Her ex-publicist
claims he did nothing wrong, because getting arrested and being publicly
humiliated is her job. |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
During a U-2 concert in Ireland, Bono asked his audience for some quiet. Then
he started to clap slowly. Holding the audience in total silence, he said, “I
want you to think about something: Every time I clap, a child dies in Africa.”
At which point a guy in the front row yelled, “Then stop clapping |
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