May 29, 2007
First Up: Dateline--Pasadena, California 
It’s official:  China will have a float in The Rose Parade on New Year’s Day.  According to one official, it makes sense, since all the other floats are made in China.
Item 2: 

According to a new study, the top three ways to avoid getting into trouble with police after being pulled over are:  Be courteous, Don’t argue and, most important, Be in the country illegally.
Item 3:  Ryan O’Neal will not be charged for firing a gun during a dispute with his son.  No one was hurt in the incident.  Experts say that if he would hat shot his son, it would have been O’Neal’s first hit in years.
Item 4: 

I’ve Got Some Bad News And Some Good News
The Bad News:  A golfer in Fallbrook, California died after his cart plunged 75 feet over a cliff. 
The Good News:  It was his longest drive of the day.
Item 5:

I’ve Got Some Bad News And Some Really Bad News
The Bad News:  A twenty-two foot statue of Jesus in Denver was damaged by lightning. 
The Really Bad News: It was not covered by insurance since it was an Act of God.
Item 6: Dateline--Leavenworth, Kansas
Two teenage boys were arrested for robbing a Dollar General Store with a plastic toy gun.  Ironically, if not convicted, they still face a life sentence in Leavenworth.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
Ole applies for a job at Wal-Mart. The interviewer asks if he ever took a course in logic.  Ole asks, “What’s that?”  The interviewer replies, “I’ll give you an example. What did you come to the store for?”  Ole answers, “A weed trimmer.”  The interviewer continues, “Using logic, I know that if you need a weed trimmer, you must have a yard.  And if you have a yard, you probably have a house.  And if you have a house, you most likely have kids.  And if you have kids, you definitely have a wife.  And if you have a wife, I know that you’re a heterosexual.  That, is logic.”  Later that day, Ole sees Lars.  Lars asks, “Did you get that job?”  “First I had to take a course in logic,” answers Ole. Lars is puzzled and asks, “What’s that?”  Ole asks, “Do you need a weed trimmer?”  “Nope,” answers Lars.  “Well then you must be gay!”