June 5, 2007
First Up: Dateline—Los Angeles, California 
Paris Hilton surrendered to a Los Angeles County jail a day early.  According to historians, this is the third time in history that Paris has surrendered.
Item 2:  Former Vice President Al Gore told Time Magazine that he’s “fallen out of love with politics.”  To which politics responded, “The break up is mutual.”  I wonder who gets custody of Tipper and the fat suits?
Item 3: 

I’ve Got Some Good News and Some Bad News
The Good News Paul Newman will give ten million dollars to his alma mater, Kenyon College.
The Bad News The donation will be in salad dressing.  Can you hear the truck backing up now? Beeeeeeeeeep, Beeeeeeeeeep.
Item 4:  Fun Fact You Should Know 
Americans spend nine million hours a day trying to locate lost items.  The study went on to say, “Where hell did I put it, it’s around here somewhere...Hang on…Hang on…”
Item 5: Question of The Week
Do masochists heat their homes with Pro-pain?
Item 6: A woman has created the first shoe with an adjustable heel.  Now, in just three easy steps you can go from “Working Girl,” to “CFM Pumps.”
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A very well-dressed, well-groomed 90 year-old man walks into an upscale bar and sits down next to a very attractive lady.  He orders a drink, takes a sip and asks, “So, do I come here often?”