July 3, 2007
First Up: Rumors persist that Nicole Ritchie is pregnant.  They started after she was spotted at a posh LA restaurant, not eating for two.
Item 2:  Paris Hilton told Larry King that while she was in jail, she was served bologna sandwiches for lunch.  She said the other inmates called it mystery meat.  According to her publicist, this isn’t the first time she’s had mystery meat in her.
Item 3:  In A Related Story Paris Hilton says that jail time has changed her.  The Larry King interview is proof:  It was the first time she spent an entire hour with a man in front of a camera without taking her clothes off or having sex.
Item 4:  A new study has found that babies who were breast-fed climb the social ladder quicker than those who were not.  Bottle-feeding advocates denounce the study, and say that bottle-fed babies climb faster.  Boy, this argument gives a whole new meaning to “Tit for Tat.”
Item 5: Dateline--San Francisco
Elizabeth Edwards said she is completely comfortable with gay marriage.  She went on to say, “I couldn’t be married to a man like John and not be comfortable with gay marriage.
Item 6: President Bush met with Russian President Putin at his summer home in Maine.  They discussed The Middle East while enjoying a lobster dinner.  This is the first time a foreign leader has been invited to Kennebunkport, but it’s not the first time President Bush discussed Iraq and while wearing a bib.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
Morris, an 82 year-old man went for a physical.  A few days later, the doctor saw him walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm, and remarked, Wow, Morris, you’re really doing great, aren’t you?”  “I’m just doing what you said, Doc,” replied Morris, “I got a hot mama and I’m being cheerful.”  “That’s not what I said!” exclaimed the doctor, “I said, “You’ve got a heart murmur, be careful.”