| First Up:
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A new study has found that smoking pot obstructs the flow of air to the
lungs five times more than regular tobacco. Marijuana advocates denounce
the study and say, “Cough, cough, cough.” |
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Item 2: |
An 88 year-old Florida man was awarded the prestigious Eagle Scout Badge, making
him the oldest person ever to receive the honor. During the ceremony, he
recalled the first merit badge he earned, for discovering fire. |
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Item 3: |
Question of The Week:
If Lindsay Lohan doesn’t go to work, is it because she’s taking a Snow Day? |
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Item 4: |
Fun Fact You Should Know:
Eighty percent of drowning victims are men. The other twenty percent were total
bitches. |
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Item 5: |
Mitt Romney said he probably wouldn’t appear on a CNN/You Tube debate because
“The Presidency ought to be held to a higher standard than answering questions
from a snowman.” In a related story, Romney is scheduled to appear on Larry
King Live. |
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Item 6: |
Another study has found that men and women agree on the top reasons they decide
to have sex, with the number one reason listed as being attracted to your mate.
Other shared reasons include reasons include: “How else was I going to get out
of the ticket?” and, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth died and went to heaven on the same day. St.
Peter said, “Unfortunately, there’s only space for one of you today, so I have
to choose between the two of you.” First, he asked Dolly if there was a
particular reason why she should go to heaven.” “Because God gave me amazing
breasts and I think it would please Him to see them every day,” answered Dolly.
St. Peter thanked Dolly, and asked Queen Elizabeth the same question. The Queen
walked over to a toilet and flushed it without saying a word. St. Peter said,
“OK, Your Majesty, you may go into heaven.” Without missing a beat, Dolly
says, “I guess a Royal Flush really does beat a Pair.” |
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