September 11, 2007
First Up: Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Dannielynn, celebrated her first birthday over the weekend.  According to a guest, she's a lot like her mom: about half way through the party, she threw up on herself and passed out.
Item 2:  Dateline--Washington, DC
In a moment of gay abandon, Senator Ted Kennedy jumped on stage during a fund-raiser and sang, "We are The World."  The stage is not expected to survive.
Item 3:  Dateline-Idaho
Larry Craig issued a statement insisting that he is not gay and has never been gay.  The disgraced senator does however, admit to using Ben Gay on his tap-tired and aching feet.
Item 4:  Question of The Week
What do Larry Craig and Elvis Presley have in common?  Both of their careers ended on the toilet.
Item 5: Fun Fact You Should Know A lady bug squirts smelly liquid from its knees when frightened.  So the next time you want to scare a ladybug, make sure to approach from behind!
Item 6: According to a Playtex marketing director, "We've found that women of all shapes and sizes talk about their bras and their breasts in a funny way."  On a personal note, I can assure you that I don't get together with the guys to talk about my jock strap and my balls.  But if I did, it would be in a funny way, Bay-bee!
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
An 80 year-old man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and gets a clean bill of health. "Everything looks great," says the doctor, "What's your secret?"  "I have a personal relationship with God" answers the patient, "In fact, every night, when I get up to use the bathroom, he turns the light on and the off when I'm done."  "Wow that's incredible," exclaims the doctor. Later that day, the doctor calls the man's wife just to confirm the story about the man's personal relationship with God.  "Does God really turn the bathroom light on and off for your husband?" he asks.  "Aw Jeez," answers the wife, "He's peeing in the refrigerator again."