November 20, 2007
First Up: Researchers have discovered that rats like sweetened water more than they like cocaine.  Further findings suggest that the preference originates from an area of the brain that experiences pleasure and oh yeah, water is a lot cheaper than cocaine.
Item 2:  Dateline--Washington, DC
A federal judge has ordered The White House to preserve copies of all e-mails after five million exchanges vanished.  Officials are not terribly concerned as all of the missing e-mails were offers to enlarge the Vice President's first name.
Item 3:  Fun Fact You Should Know
The US Treasury once issued a three cent bill.  Now there's talk of introducing a two bits bill that would feature Clinton's picture.
Item 4:  A Sad Note
Jerry BoBrow, best-selling author of several test preparation guides for students passed away at the age of 59.  Per his wishes, he'll be A) buried in three days B) buried in seven days C) cremated ASAP or D) none of the above.
Item 5: Dateline--Rochester, New York
Raggedy Andy, Atari 2600 and The Kite have all been inducted into The Toy Hall of Fame.  The Barry Bonds doll was supposed to be inducted, but officials bowed to a threatened boycott by all of the other action figures.
Item 6: For the first time ever, Garcia and Rodriguez have made the top ten list of the most common surnames in the United States.  According to officials at The Census Bureau, the names made the cut due to the exploding Hispanic population and the fact that they are willing to take the surnames Americans just don't want.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A retiree went down to the social security office to apply for benefits.  When he got there, he realized that he left his ID at home.  He told the woman behind the counter his situation and she said, "Don't worry, just unbutton your shirt."  So he did, revealing his silver, curly chest hair.  "That's proof enough for me," she said, and processed his account.  He went home and told his wife what happened.  "Hey," said his wife, "if you had dropped your pants, you would have gotten disability too!"