| First Up:
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Despite the back-biting that continues between Rudy Giuliani and Mitt
Romney, the candidates have discovered that they share at least a couple of
opinions. Although the two still disagree on immigration and taxes, they
found common ground with the Iraq war and the number of wives a man can
have. |
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Item 2: |
Dateline--New Hampshire
A man claiming to have a bomb stormed into Hillary Clinton's campaign office.
No truth to the rumor that it was actually a striking Hollywood writer with a
script for Bionic Woman. |
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Item 3: |
Two students at Southern Illinois University have been accused of kidnapping a
man and torturing him with hot cookies. Authorities have determined the
incident was a Mrs. Fields Trip gone bad. |
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Item 4: |
Fun Fact You Should Know
Gestapo was the Marx Brother they never talked about. |
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Item 5: |
An outbreak of chicken pox struck the children of the Spice Girls while the
group was on tour, quickly spreading from one kid to another. According to the
band's manager, this isn't the first time a disease has been spread backstage at
a Spice Girls concert. Just ask Chlamydia Spice. |
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Item 6: |
A Los Angeles based company is producing a new game show featuring immigrants
called, "Who Wants To Marry a US Citizen?" They say if the show is a hit, they
will proceed with similarly themed-shows including, "Juan, Lupe or Draw," "The
Weakest Chain Link Fence," "Green Card Sharks," and "Are You Smarter than a Leaf
Blower?" |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched his dad move
from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump and
chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked his father what he was doing.
"Before I buy a horse," answered the dad, "I want to make sure it's healthy and
in good shape." "Oh my gosh, Dad!" exclaimed Johnny, "I think the UPS guy wants
to buy mom!" |
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