Doctors discovered a piece of grass growing on a baby's lung. Thankfully, illegal alien doctors were able to go inside and mow it.
Britney Spears was caught stealing a cigarette lighter from a convenience store. When asked why she stole the lighter, the singer said, "Because I wanted to get the kids' Christmas shopping done."
An indigenous tribal leader presented Sir Elton John with a rare, bird-feathered, multi-colored cloak to thank the singer for all the work he has done on behalf of his people. John was thrilled by the gift, but did ask the chief, "Does this make me look gay?"
Hip-hop star, Pimp C passed away at the age of 33. Pimp C is survived by his wife, Hooker A, two kids, Pimp C, Jr. and Hooker B. and their nanny, Vice Squad.
Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. I guess that explains the crack in my ass!
A woman was convicted for trying to trade her son for a wedding dress. According to fair market value, the boy is actually worth two prom dresses, a tube top and a Kate Spade hand bag. Ironically, the boy was the reason she had to get married in the first place.
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A young boy asks his father, "What's the difference between potentially and
realistically? The dad thinks for a moment and says, "Go ask your mother, your
sister and your brother if any of them would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back with their answers and we'll talk about what you've
learned." So off he goes, and all three family members answer "yes" to the
question without hesitation. He reports the results of the survey to his dad.
"Excellent." says the dad, "Here is the difference between the two words:
Potentially you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically,
we're living with two sluts and a homo."
