December 18, 2007
First Up: If the writers' strike isn't settled soon, they might cancel The Golden Globe Awards and The Oscars.  I guess every cloud really does have a silver lining.
Item 2:  President Bush granted 29 pardons to  six carjackers, 21 drug dealers, a moonshiner and an election law violator, or, as he like to call them, his "Inner Circle."
Item 3:  Dateline-London 
A man was arrested after trying to have sex with a metal railing on a park fence.  When asked why he attempted this sad, lonely act, he answered, "I've always had this pipe dream."
Item 4:  A Sad Note Rock legend Ike Turner passed away at the age of 76.  The ex-Mr. Tina claims he was married 17 times. He said that he knew he was over doing it when Elizabeth Taylor called and said, "Enough already."
Item 5: Fun Fact You Should Know
Members of two space shuttle crews have admitted that the yo-yos they brought along for the ride helped pass idle time.  Of course, a yo-yo is always on board Air Force One.
Item 6: Question of The Week
When Hillary Clinton is being investigated by political foes, is that just another Witch Hunt?
Item 7: Dateline-Somalia
After a six week siege, pirates finally freed a Japanese tanker they had been holding hostage.  The stand-off ended abruptly after Johnny Depp showed up with a bullhorn shouting, "Guys!  It's just a f%#ing  movie!"
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
Two old guys, aged 80 and 87, were sitting on a park bench.  The 87 year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.  The 80 year-old was amazed by his energy and stamina and asked him his secret.  He said, "I eat Jewish rye bread every day.  It keeps my energy level high and I have great stamina with the ladies."  Inspired, the 80 year-old rushes to the bakery and asks if they have any Jewish rye bread.  The clerk says, "Yes, we have a whole shelf of it."  "I want five loaves," says the 80 year- old   "Are you sure you want that many?" asks the bakery lady, "By the time you get to the fifth loaf, it will be hard."  "That's the goal!"