January 8, 2008
First Up: Reese Witherspoon was voted most likable woman in Hollywood, beating out Clay Aiken by two votes.
Item 2:  It's official:  after 26 years of marriage, Valerie Bertinelli's divorce from Eddie Van Halen is final.  For those of you keeping track, that's a total of 235 pounds she lost last year.
Item 3:  Hillary Clinton is denying reports that she faked crying during a Question and Answer session at a campaign stop.  She said she was just trying to win tickets to a Hannah Montana concert.
Item 4:  Dateline--Los Angeles 
Comedian Dane Cook broke a record for performing at The Laugh Factory after being on stage for 7 hours and 12 minutes.  He actually broke two other records that night as well:  Twenty-three of the jokes were funny and eight of them were his.
Item 5: Fun Fact You Should Know
There are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on earth.  Yeah? Prove it.
Item 6: Dateline--Puerto Rico
A ban on bird imports has forced the cancellation of 100 cockfights.  In a related story, the scheduled presidential debates will move from San Juan to Guam.
Item 7: Dateline--San Francisco
After serving more than thirty years in prison for the attempted  assassination of President Ford, Sara Jane Moore has been released on put on parole.  She had originally been given a life sentence without the possibility of parole, but that changed after she promised that she would never try to kill President Ford again.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A fireman came home from work and told his wife about the alarm system at the station:  "Bell One rings and we all put our jackets on.  After Bell Two, we all slide down the pole and by Bell Three, we're all on the truck and ready to go."  "That's great honey," replies the wife, "but why are you telling me this?"
"Well," answers the fireman, "I'd like to use a similar system at home:  When I say Bell One, I want you to take your clothes off, at Bell Two, I want you to jump into bed, and at Bell Three, we make love all night."  The next night the fireman comes home and yells, "Bell One!" and the wife takes off her clothes. At Bell Two, she jumps into bed and at Bell Three, they start making love.  Suddenly, the wife yells, "Bell Four!" "What the hell is Bell Four?" asks the fireman. "Roll out more hose!  You're nowhere near the fire!"