February 26, 2008
First Up: Jennifer Lopez gave birth to twins last Friday.  This is actually her third set of twins if you count her T & A, Bay-Bee!
Item 2:  Rosie O'Donnell says she's planning to co-star in a sitcom with Fran Drescher.  Possible titles for the show include, "The Annoying Couple," "Make Room for Fatty," and "Father Knows Best."
Item 3:  Dateline--Stamford, Connecticut
A man known as The Dinnertime Bandit, because he broke into homes during, well, dinnertime, was arraigned in court.  Police were able to capture him after they spotted a man dressed as a telemarketer with a mask and a sack of loot.
Item 4:  Fun Fact You Should Know
Four percent of Americans have never had sex.  Coincidentally, the same amount of people who say they're still Republican.
Item 5: Sharon Stone told European reporters that, "War is not a movie."  Yeah, it's not like you can spread your legs and get away with murder.
Item 6: Former Jenny Craig spokesperson Kirstie Alley says she plans to start her own weight loss center, using the slogan, "No Woman is An Island; Except Me!"
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A fortune teller was shocked by what she saw in her crystal ball, but was obligated to share the bad news with her client. "There is no easy way to tell you this," said the gypsy, "You will soon be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."  Visibly shaken by the news, the client asks, "Will I get away with it?"