May 13, 2008
First Up: For the twelfth year in a row, the most popular baby names are Emily and Jacob.  Least popular? Rosie and W.
Item 2:  A new study has found that mothers who breastfeed have babies with higher verbal I.Q.s, than those who don't.  Instead of crying when they are hungry, these babies just say "Please pass the nipple."
Item 3:  Ashlee Simpson has asked her sister Jessica to be Maid of Honor in her wedding.  Apparently Patrick Dempsey was busy.
Item 4:  Justin Timberlake is producing a new reality show on which contestants will be directed to go on a series of wild, nation-wide errands, receiving their instructions via cell phone.  The show is called "Having a Wife."
Item 5: A Sad Note  A man staying at the Disneyland Hotel jumped to his death from his room on the fourteenth floor.  The sad part?  He also used his "Fast Pass."
Item 6: Remember that story about the man from Fort Worth, Texas who was arrested for trying to cash a 360 billion dollar check?  Turns out the check was real.  It was a government stimulus rebate check to Exxon.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A man from the Department of Water stopped by a farm and told the farmer he needed to inspect his farm to determine his water allotment.  The farmer agreed, but warned the man, "Just don't go in that field over there."  "Sir," replied the inspector, "I have authority from the Federal Government.  See this card?  This card means I am allowed to go wherever I want to on agricultural land, no questions asked.  Are we clear?"  The farmer nodded politely and went about his chores.  A few minutes later, he heard screams coming from the field, and saw the government guy running for his life.  Reacting quickly, the farmer ran to the fence and shouted, "Your card! Your card!  Show him your card!"