May 27, 2008
First Up: Dateline-England A man was arrested for spraying urine and feces on food at a Chinese restaurant.  Coincidentally, he did it on only the #1 and # 2 meals.
Item 2:  Al Reynolds, the estranged husband of Star Jones, is shopping around a tell-all book about the couple's marriage and divorce.  It's called, "I Knew It Was Over When She Started to Sing."
Item 3:  Dateline--Los Angeles, California
A truckload of women's bras spilled on Interstate Highway 10.  The road was shut down while authorities searched for booby traps.
Item 4:  Dateline-Missouri
A car dealer is offering customers a choice of either a free gun or free gas when they buy a new car.  So far, most people are taking the free gun, because that's what it takes to get all the free gas you want, bay-bee!
Item 5: Dateline--New Zealand
A man was arrested at a convenience store after trying to pay for candy and potato chips with marijuana.  He almost got away with it, until he asked for crack as change.
Item 6: Dateline-Japan
The tourism minister has chosen Hello Kitty as its government envoy to represent the country in China.  When asked why a cartoon character was chosen, the minister replied, "Because Godzilla can be so unpredictable."
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A woman complains to her husband that her breasts are too small.  "Well, if you want bigger breasts," replied the husband, "stand in front of the mirror and rub toilet paper between them." "How long is it going to take?" asks the wife. "A few years," he answers. Skeptical, the wife asks again, "Are you sure that rubbing toilet paper between my breasts for a few years will make my breasts bigger?"  "It worked for your ass, didn't it?"