| First Up:
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Dateline-England
George Bush told London newspaper The Observer that he is considering
writing a memoir after he leaves office. The president said the only thing
stopping him is "All those words." |
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Item 2: |
Dateline--Las Vegas, Nevada
Illusionists Siegfried and Roy welcomed five new white tiger cubs into their
exotic habitat. "Our life's purpose is keeping them from extinction." Siegfried
told reporters. Too bad the tigers didn't feel the same way about Roy. |
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Item 3: |
Dateline--Sunland, California
The LAPD surrounded a house in which an armed man had holed up after threatening
a neighbor. Watch for him this fall on the new FOX show, "So You Think You Can
Take Yourself Hostage." |
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Item 4: |
A man in Japan discovered that a woman had been living in his closet for a
year. He became suspicious when his suits disappeared and were replaced with a
note that said, "They'll be ready next Thursday." |
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Item 5: |
A San Francisco woman with a fetish for inanimate objects married The Eiffel
Tower. This is the second marriage for her, having left her toaster to be with
the Paris landmark. The Tower was previously engaged to The Grand Canyon, but I
think we all know how difficult long distance romances can be. |
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Item 6: |
Rosie O'Donnell says even though gay marriage is legal in California, she and
her partner Kelly plan to wait until it is legal in all 50 states until they
re-tie their knot. And, she wants time to lose enough weight to fit into her
wedding overalls and work boots. |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A blonde calls her travel agent and asks, "Can you tell me how long it takes to
fly from San Francisco to New York City?" "One moment," replied the agent.
"Thank you," the blonde said and hung up. |
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