July 8, 2008
First Up: Showtime is working on a new drama about a vice cop who moonlights as a hooker.  The working title is Hawaii Five-Oh-Oh-Oh-God-Yes-Yes!
Item 2:  Luke Perry has no plans to reprise his role as Dylan McKay on the CW's update of Beverly Hills 90210.  He said he'd like to, but was afraid it would interrupt his unemployment checks.
Item 3:  Dateline-Berlin
A visitor to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum decapitated the likeness of Adolph Hitler.  He said he wasn't trying to make a political statement he just wanted a little head from a dictator.
Item 4:  A Sad Note
Larry Harmon, the man who created Bozo the Clown, passed away at the age of 83.  No truth to the rumor that upon hearing the news, President Bush ordered flags flown at half-mast.
Item 5: Adam Sandler is branching out into horror movies with his new company, "Scary Madison." The Zohan star promises to produce "the scariest movies of all time." First up, sequels to every film starring long-time Sandler pal, Rob Schneider.
Item 6: Dateline--Los Angeles
International Airport Several flights were cancelled after a man claimed he was a bomb-toting terrorist.  He was caught thanks to a savvy United Airlines customer service rep who insisted on charging him $35 for his first checked bomb.
And Finally:

The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a bottle of turpentine when a priest came by and asked him what he was up to.  "I have the powerful liquid in the world," answered the boy.  "No you don't," replied the priest, "the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water."  "Really?" asked the little boy, "How can you tell?"  "Well," explained the priest, "If you rub Holy Water on a pregnant woman's stomach, she'll pass a healthy baby."  "That's nothing," boasted the little boy, "If you rub some of this on a cat's ass he'll pass a Harley-Davidson."