A woman was arrested at a gas station after begging customers for money and then dropping her pants regardless of whether she received any or not. In a back-at-ya' twist, the men who donated to her cause then begged her to keep her clothes on.
The Liberty Bell weighs 2,000 lbs., making it the heaviest American icon on record. The second heaviest icon with a large crack? Rosie O'Donnell.
A death row inmate says that he is too fat to be executed. According to a prison spokesperson, they are still going to give him the chair, but they're going to charge tax-payers for two seats.
The Iraqi Rowing Team will be allowed to compete in the Beijing Summer Games, after all. Mexico has announced it will not have a team, since all of their best and fastest are currently swimming for the US.
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
An old man owned a large farm with a pond and fruit trees. One evening, he
grabbed his five-gallon bucket and headed to the orchard to pick some fruit.
Much to his surprise, he found a bunch of young girls skinny-dipping, and told
them sternly to get the heck off of his property. "We're not coming out until
you leave," declared one of the swimmers. "I'm not here to see you naked,"
replied the farmer, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."
