| First Up:
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Madonna and Guy Ritchie held a ceremony over the weekend, during which the
couple renewed their wedding vows. Or, as she called it, the reinvention of
her marriage. |
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Item 2: |
The Democratic National Convention is off and running. Though the real show is
taking place in the streets as protestors and anarchists are trying hard to, as
their signs say, "Recreate '68!" Though the slogan is a little obscure, a
spokesperson for the group did say it had "absolutely nothing to do with Nicole
Ritchie's dieting goals." |
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Item 3: |
Barack Obama introduced Senator Joe Biden as his running mate via text message
to his supporters. Not to be outdone, John McCain will announce his VP pick
later this week via telegraph and carrier pigeon. |
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Item 4: |
Dateline--Riverside, California
Prosecutors have decided not to press charges against comedian/frequent arrestee
Andy Dick. Ironically, several of his many past run-ins with the law involved
releasing Dick. |
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Item 5: |
Dateline--Seattle, Washington
The hiker who was shot by a 14-year-old hunter as she was bending over to get
something out of her backpack doesn't blame the kid. In fact, she has vowed to
lose some weight and shave before bending over in public again. |
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And Finally: |
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week
A man gets on the bus with his pockets full of golf balls, and sits next to a
blonde woman. The puzzled blonde couldn't stop staring at his bulging pants.
Finally, the man said, "Its golf balls." "Oh, I'm sorry," said the blonde,
"Does it hurt as much as Tennis Elbow?" |
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