Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
July 01, 2003
First Up:
Due to the popularity of the hit movie "Finding Nemo," kids are flushing their fish down the toilet thinking they are setting their pets free in the ocean. Which explains why my nephew pooped in my fish tank last week. Or does it?
Item 2:
Dateline - New Philadelphia, Ohio: A 70 year-old man and a 60 year-old woman pleaded no contest to public indecency after being arrested for having sex in a fast food restaurant. The aging Romeo says the trouble began when he asked his companion to "Super-size his Whopper."
Item 3:
Dateline - Northridge, California: A move theater was evacuated after 30 patrons complained of smelling a strange odor and breathing trouble. The smell was later identified as the movie itself, "From Justin to Kelly."
Item 4:
Fun Fact You Should Know: Britney Spears says she never wears the same pair of underwear twice. Which may explain the meaning of the Oops, I Did It Again lyrics.
Item 5:
I've Got Some Bad News and Some Good News: The Bad News: A 71 year-old woman is suing Rosie O'Donnell because she claims that she was hit in the mouth with a rubber ball while in the audience of Rosie's talk show. The Good News: The celebrity guest on the show that day was Tour de France cyclist Lance Armstrong, who shouted out, "That's where it went!"
Item 6:
Dateline - Washington DC: According to the Health and Human Services Department, the national birth rate hasn't been this low since the early nineties. They attribute the decline to modern birth control and blue dresses from The Gap.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of the Week: Dateline - Augusta, Michigan: Health officials found 550 gallons of urine and feces in an abandoned house. I don't know which is scarier, the fact that they found all that stuff or that some guy had to measure it.

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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