Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
July 22, 2003
First Up:
President Bush has declared that marriage is between a man and a woman. He went on to say, "If you don't believe me, just ask 'Siegfried and Roy'."
Item 2:
Dateline - Woodinville, Washington: Neighbors are protesting a Buddhist Monastery's plan to build a 13,300 square foot meditation center. According to a spokesperson for the monks, "We have nothing to say."
Item 3:
According to The Department of Education, 80 percent of US schools have self-esteem classes, and I know why: We've become a society that has to check the bottom of a soda cap to see if we are a winner.
Item 4:
Jennifer Lopez said in an NBC Dateline special, "I'm not a diva and I don't know where that rumor came from and if someone doesn't get me a room-temperature Evian with a blue crazy-straw in it, I'm going to end the F*$#ing interview."
Item 5:
Dateline - Iraq: Several US soldiers went on national TV to bitch and complain about being stationed there. In fact, it prompted Tom Brokaw to write a new book on the war called, "The Whiniest Generation."
Item 6:
Dateline - Ravenna, Ohio: A woman received a citation for breast feeding her child while driving on the Ohio Turnpike. The officer said he didn't believe her story since her child was 28 years old.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of the Week: My buddy Jerry Lee Lewis is suing for divorce from his sixth wife. But that isn't his real problem. It's chronic jock itch, though it's helped him sing his hit song, "Great Balls of Fire."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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